Finding the Secret Place

He that dwelleth in the secret place of the Most High shall abide under the shadow of the Almighty. And I will say of the Lord, He is my refuge, and my fortress, my God, in Him will I trust.

Psalm 91:1-2

My father used to work nights, and he often napped on the couch as my brother and I played quietly nearby. My very favorite spot to play during my daddy's napping times was right in the crook of his knees between him and the couch. I have never felt so safe as when I was sitting with my father so many years ago.

More recently, when I have needed to trust my Heavenly Father, I have not played so quietly at His feet. Instead, I have worried, fretted, and been ever-so-discontent. I am certain my behavior, though childish, was not God's idea of coming to Him like a little child! Most of my adult life I have wanted to trust God to take care of my every need and to find the secret place in Him that would keep me safe from the troubles of this world. But the problem in my heart was this: His secret place doesn't protect from troubles in this world, and I found myself disillusioned because I kept finding myself in quite unpleasant circumstances. It seemed as if God was not keeping His Word. Where was His protection, and where was this elusive secret place?

I wish I could say I prayed and prayed until I had a grand revelation to help me find God's secret place, but I didn't! It was more of a quiet transformation in my heart. God gently pushed me in the right direction, but there was no grand revelation.

In order to earn extra money, I work at a convenience store. In general, it's a great job. The managers are wonderful, the work is something I don't have to bring home with me, and the people I work with are nice. The job is located only about 3 1/2 miles from where I live, so it's a perfect situation.

Each night we have a list of chores to accomplish as we work. There is nothing unusual about it, and the list keeps us on track and busy for the night. One of the chores on the list has become particularly odious to me: dusting the shelf of the day. I especially dislike Sunday's shelf. The grocery display has many items to remove from the shelf before it can be dusted. Additionally, each item has to be checkd for expiration dates, and it takes a great deal of time to do the chore properly. It seemed to me I was stuck dusting this shelf every single Sunday night, and I spoiled my own mood with my thoughts. Finally, one Sunday night, I decided just to think about something happy and pleasant because I didn't want to ruin my night again.

I decided instead to think about photography and writing. That directed my mind to how beautiful the clouds had been, and I began thanking God for His creativity. And then it happened--God began communing with me. He told me about problems in my heart and how to pray to alleviate them. He told me how to pray for a relationship I was struggling with, and He told me how much He loved me and was delighted with me. I knew I had found His secret place. No one else was there, though customers were continuously in the store during this time. Joy filled my heart, and I wanted to dance about the store singing and praising m Heavenly Father. (I might have if I had been alone in the store!)

That joy lasted all night, but not one circumstance had changed. I still had to dust the shelf, and it still took a long time to finish. I realized the secret place of the Most High had nothing to do with outward circumstances. When I put my focus on God, circumstances no longer mattered. The only thing that mattered was Him.

So now, when I am faced with a difficult circumstance, I will be taking my mind to my Daddy's secret place. I can just imagine it: me in the safest place of all, right in the crook of His knees, between Him and the couch. Only Daddy isn't sleeping now. He's talking to me, sharing secrets with me, and telling me how much He loves me and delights in me.